Yesterday I got my braces off. I'd been looking forward to this for a month, and I was happy happy happy the whole appointment, even though it felt like they were trying to grind my teeth apart. Ouch! After that, they took X-rays, stretched my lips unreasonably far apart for pictures, and then took some more disgusting goopy impressions, even though I'd just had them last week. Dramatized conversation afterward below:
Orthodontist: Okay, that's all done!
Me: So, can I...go now?
Orthodontist: No! You still have to get your retainer.
Me: Oh...
Orthodontist: Here it is! *pulls out weirdly shaped blue rubber attached to wire and weirder rubber strip* Let's try them on: one for the top teeth, one for the bottom! And they're blue, just like you wanted!
Me: I see.
Orthodontist: *slides the top one in* Fits like a glove! Aren't those impressions wonderful?
Me: Rmph. *face is messy with impression goo*
Orthodontist: Now for the bottom! *attempts to push onto teeth* Hmm, looks like this one is a bit tight. Come back in two more days for more impressions and we can fix it! *passes me mirror* Here, you can look at your teeth if you want.
Me: *silently stares at perfect teeth*
Orthodontist: Now, why don't you try talking? Repeat after me: Seven sailors sailed to sea.
Me: Shefed...AUGH!! Why cad I dak?!
Orthodontist: See? I'm afraid you won't be able to talk very well...but that's okay. Now here's the list of all the things you need to do to take care of your retainer. Don't get saliva on it, brush it four times a day, only touch it in certain places, and oh, if it breaks, you'd better call us up right away because if you leave your retainer off for more than a week your teeth will move and you'll have to get braces for another three years. Now let's go see your mom and show her your awesome retainer!
Both of us go out to the waiting room where my mom is waiting.
Mom: Wow, look at your perfect teeth! How does your retainer feel?
Me: *starts to tear up, to Mom's surprise* I cad dak vehy weh...
Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, I hate my retainer. And at the beginning of my braces, they showed me sparkly retainers as a reward for being good with my braces. REWARD?! I was a bit too old to be bribed by sparkles, thank you very much!
Crazy conspiracy theories: Orthodontists are torturers in disguise sent out to cause massive pain under the guise of being an amazing help to our teeth. Teeth are for eating, not being lined up in perfect sparkly little rows.
(By the way: Let's see if I can finish LoL by my birthday, the 19th. If I do, I have a surprise in store...)
~ Sophia-Rose
Hi! I'm Sophia-Rose, and welcome to my treehouse. This is my blog, where I show my graphics, artwork, and music, but is heavily focused on writing.
I know right!? Mine's at least rainbow (though I NEVER remember asking for that...). I got my braces off a couple years ago, so I'm set to wearing them once/twice a week. The only up side to this is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is going be all like "What gorgeous teeth you have!!" (especially the dentists... beware them, lol).
ReplyDeleteThe other up side?? After I got mine off, the last major dentist trip was for my wisdom teeth... you're almost there!! (Just try not to chip a tooth... I got a root canal for that). And I didn't know you ad braces!! I could've given loads of advice! XD
I accidentally threw my retainers in the garbage once. I caught them in time, though I wouldn't have had any regrets, haha. Oh, there's a tablet thing that you can dissolve into water and soak the retainers in (like people do with dentures)... much easier than brushing (and four times a day is ridiculous...).
LONG COMMENT. I'll wrap it up now. Congratulations on getting braces off though! :D